“Well behaved women seldom make history.”
I got to thinking why I so very much like reading and writing about strong women. To be honest with you, I think it’s because I’ve spent most of my life as a wimp, doing as I was told, minding my manners, saying all the right, and expected, things,until one day I realized being miss-goody-two-shoes was getting me exactly nowhere. Since then, I’ve been called disrespectful, annoyingly forward, and my favorite—uppity. To make up for lost time, I now suit up as Lalla Bains, born again bachelorette, ex-NY Model, crop-duster, sometime amateur sleuth. I might as well let her tell it… she’s crowding me for the spotlight anyway.
Lalla Bains here, and I seldom do as I’m told especially after my lyin’, cheatin’ whoring second ex-husband took up with yet another too-tasty-to-resist side-dish.
So what if I took a baseball bat to his recently restored vintage Caddy? It was worth it just to watch him try to yodel his way out of this latest lie… like I didn’t catch him and his secretary fogging up the windows of his pimp-mobile.
I smashed in the headlights, the driver’s side window,and just for good measure,slashed the tires. That way, he had to get a tow. I skinned him of the Caddy in the divorce and, just for spite, painted it candy apple red.
That’s me, hell raiser—well, sort of. Flying and partying don’t mix during the long hard days of summer. Even if I had the energy I get too damn little sleep as it is and now that I’m fu-fuuu-fu-forty.—‘kay, that’s—that’s just—rude to laugh. You try my life for a day—up at three a.m., chasing after lazy pilots and the smart mouthed ground crew I inherited when my dad when he went in for a triple by-pass.
“Would you mind coming home and taking over the crop-dusting business?” he says, coughing lightly into the phone. “I might not be around much longer.”
Miraculously recovered, my tight-wad father is now too busy to take back his desk, what with rediscovering a whole new wardrobe from the back of his closet. He’s in leisure suits,squiring local widows to funerals and scarfing up free meals at the wakes while I try to shake off the ankle biting Chihuahua we inherited from the last murder case.
On the bright side, my love life is finally out of the dumps since I have a wonderful relationship with Sheriff Caleb Stone. Well, that is, it would be, if only I could do as I’m told and stay away from solving crimes. It’s not my fault that people die at my feet, or they’re found six feet under a local lake strapped into the front seat of my trophy red caddy.
But, If I did as I was told and stayed out of trouble, I never would have solved those cases. Besides, it helps keep my mind off turning fu-fuu-forty. So, now you understand why well behaved women seldom make history is now my motto.
Note to self: tattoo the above quote somewhere I can clearly see it when I’m in another jam.
You can read more about Lalla in A DEAD RED HEART, the second book in the “Lalla Baines” mystery series. The first book in the series is “A DEAD RED CADILLAC.”
The life and times of Lalla Baines is written by RP Dahlke, aka Rebecca Phillips-Dahlke who sort of fell into the job of running a crop-dusting business when my dad decided he’d rather go on a cruise than take another season of lazy pilots, missing flaggers, testy farmers and horrific hours. After two years at the helm, I handed him back the keys and fled to a city without any of the above. And no, I was never a crop-duster. I write about a tall, blond and beautiful ex-model turned crop-duster who, to quote Lalla Bains, says: “I’ve been married so many times they oughta revoke my license.” I wanted to give readers a peek at the not so-perfect -life of a beautiful blond. Lalla Bains is no Danielle Steele character, she’s not afraid of chipping her manicure. Scratch that, the girl doesn’t have time for a manicure what with herding a bunch of recalcitrant pilots and juggling work orders just to keep her father’s flagging business alive. I enjoy writing with humor, and if you enjoy my books, I’d love to hear from you! Here’s my e-mail: email@example.com. As September 14, 2011 on Amazon, Rebecca’s first book in the Lalla Bains series, A DEAD RED CADILLAC, ranked 1,500 among 750,000.
Visit RP at http://rpdahlke.com
Books are available at retail and online booksellers.
** Rebecca has generously offered to give away one copy of A DEAD RED CADILLAC. To enter, leave a comment with a valid e-mail address. Please break it up using (at) and (dot). One entry per person and this is open to anyone with a U.S. mailing address. Contest ends on Septembe 20th at 6pm EST. The winner will be chosen using a random number generator and will be notified by e-mail and has 2 days to respond. Book will be shipped directly from the author. **