Murder Mayhem Goose7 a.m. My day begins with the birds singing. Not like Snow White or anything, just the birds outside my window. Before my feet hit the floor, I check my email on my laptop. I can’t dawdle too long—I have to be at work at nine-thirty, and I want to make muffins to take to Louetta and Pickle.

Soon, I’m putting peanuts and sunflower seeds out for the birds. I watch the chickadees, wrens, and titmouses eat while I get dressed, most delighted when my friend the redheaded woodpecker stops by.

9:15 a.m. The chocolate chip muffins come out of the oven, and I pack them up and head for the bookstore. It’s a beautiful day out, and the short walk to town puts me in a good mood. I wave to neighbors watering their flowerpots or sweeping their porches, and also Officer Beanblossom, who’s on bike patrol today.

Pickle is arriving for work just as I am. I love today’s t-shirt, which says, “Never send a chipmunk to do a squirrel’s job.” I tell him I always thought he was a little squirrelly, and he gives me a funny look. Poor Pickle.

10:30 a.m. It’s Storytime at Stafford Books, and Louetta and I take turns reading to about ten children and their parents. I read two of my favorites: Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, and Caps For Sale. I made little paper caps for the children, and after I read the story, we act it out, with Pickle playing the part of a monkey. He’s a natural.

Noon. I head to Slick & Junebug’s Diner for lunch. Clive and Earl are in their regular seats at the counter, arguing over Obamacare so intently they don’t see me at first. Just one look and one sentence tells me things are heating up. I hear Earl tell Clive to tie his bull outside, then they both notice me, and we chat for a bit. I kiss each of the old men on the cheek and head to my usual booth.

Junebug brings me sweet tea with lemon and a basket of Slick’s famous corn muffins. She’s too good to me. Just as I place my order for fried green tomatoes, I see Martha Maye and Butterbean heading my way. I wonder with whom I will eat once school starts in a few weeks. But I’m glad Martha Maye will be teaching again. Our new police chief stops by our table, and I can’t help but notice the way he and Martha Maye look at each other. This could get interesting.

2:00 p.m. It’s been pretty quiet in the store today, until the mayor stops in. The way he looks at me always makes me uncomfortable. I manage to deflect his flirtations, but Louetta takes matters into her own hands and tells him this is a respectable place of “bidness” and he needs to move along. I guess it’s her age that lets her get away with talking to the mayor like that.

Ernestine, from Ernestine & Hazel’s Sundries stops in next. She doesn’t want to buy anything, she just wants to gossip with Lou for a while. Jack says both women’s tongues are tied in the middle and loose at both ends.

6:00 p.m. Jack has asked me to meet him at the Silly Goose for dinner, so after I leave work, I head across the town square to the upscale restaurant. When I see him, I have to remind myself to breathe. He takes my breath away. I’m sure there are other people in the restaurant, but I only see Jack as he leads me to a quiet booth in the back.

After dinner, we meander through the town square, holding hands and talking as he walks me home. The little white lights on the trees lining the sidewalks make for a romantic walk, and I think what a dichotomy Goose Pimple Junction is. The town is picture perfect and gives no hint to the quirky southern folks who live here. To me, it’s a perfect blend, and I’m glad I moved here. Jack stops to kiss me, and I’m so glad I moved here.

We stop by Jack’s place to pick up his Basset Hound, Ezzie, before going to my house. We find her asleep on the kitchen floor, curled up next to the Tupperware I gave to Jack. It used to be full of chocolate chip cookies, and Jack swears he didn’t eat them all. Ezzie knows she’s busted, so she plays the sad dog card, looking at us guiltily with those big sad eyes and her ears down. It works. We can’t stay mad for long, and she gets to go on her walk with us.

11:00 p.m. When Jack leans in for a last goodnight kiss, I marvel at his ability to still make my knees go weak. After he and Ezzie leave, and my heartbeat returns to normal, I settle into bed with my laptop once again. I’ll be able to work on my novel for a few hours before I give in to sleep. I think about the police chief and Martha Maye and wonder how long it will take him to ask her out. Then I think about what a good day it’s been, and I realize most days are like that in Goose Pimple Junction.

You can read more about Tess in Murder And Mayhem In Goose Pimple Junction, the first book in the new “Goose Pimple Junction” mystery series.

Meet the author
Amy Metz is the mother of two sons, is a former first grade teacher, and is the author of Murder & Mayhem In Goose Pimple Junction, the first in a humorous southern mystery series. When not actively engaged in writing, enjoying her family, or spoiling her dog and granddogs, Amy can usually be found with a mixing spoon, camera, or book in her hands. She lives in Louisville, Kentucky and can be reached at or her blog, A Blue Million Books (

Books are available at retail and online booksellers.

%d bloggers like this: