When Dru Ann asked me to write about an average day in my life, I almost told her no. There’s nothing average about life in Himmarshee, Fla., just north of Lake Okeechobee. We’ve had a highly unusual spate of murders, and I’ve been right in the middle of most of them. It’s not average when you saddle up for a trail ride, only to find your old flame dead in his campfire chili. It’s not average to have your wedding caterer killed in the kitchen at the VFW, even before the first pig-in-a-blanket is passed. And it’s not average to get tossed in the slammer just because you can’t explain why a corpse was inconveniently located in your convertible trunk.
Anyhoo, I live in Himmarshee, with my new husband Sal (he’s from the Bronx, but we’ve forgiven him), and my Pomeranian, Teensy. The murder put a damper on things, but Teensy was adorable as the ring-bearer at our recent wedding. I also have three grown daughters. The middle one, Mace, is the only one I’ve had no luck marrying off.
”What’s the hurry?” she says, whenever I mention it. “Haven’t you been married enough for all of us?”
It’s true. Sal IS Husband No. 5. It’s also true loving daughters don’t poke fun at their mothers’ marital missteps.
I just want Mace to be happy, which I know she could be if she’d settle down with that handsome police detective who moved up here from Miami. Of course, Carlos Martinez did try to convict me of murder once. We’ve forgiven him. It’s ancient history. The newest ”not average” thing to happen is I got a part in a movie when some folks from Hollywood came here to shoot a cowboy film. Mace was on the set as a horse wrangler, and the director noticed my star quality when I visited her. I hope that doesn’t sound conceited. Like we say in Himmarshee, ”It’s not braggin’ if it’s fact.” Supposedly, I ”killed” in my part. That’s just Hollywood talk. I didn’t actually commit homicide.
Unfortunately, someone else did. Commit murder, I mean. Mace and I got in the middle of things, and that never ends well. To see if we survive, you’ll just have to read MAMA SEES STARS (Midnight Ink, September 2011). I’ll give you a hint. I fully expect to be around to attend some red carpet parties in my honor.
They won’t be average.
You can read more about Mama in MAMA SEES STARS, the fourth book in the “Mace Bauer” mystery series. The first book in this series is MAMA DOES TIME.
Deborah Sharp writes about a sweet-tea-and-barbecue slice of her native Florida in the funny, Southern-fried Mace Bauer Mystery series. Think Stephanie Plum, if she had a couple of cousins named Bubba. A former reporter for USA Today, Deborah is married to NBC correspondent Kerry Sanders. They live in Fort Lauderdale. No kids; no pets. They had goldfish once. Turned out badly. ”Mama Sees Stars” is her fourth book.
** Deborah has generously offered to give away one copy of MAMA SEES STARS. To enter, leave a comment with a valid e-mail address. Please break it up using (at) and (dot), like domain(at)host(dot)com. One entry per person and this is open to anyone with a U.S. mailing address. Contest ends on September 18th at 6pm EST. The winner will be chosen using a random number generator and will be notified by e-mail and has 2 days to respond. **
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