Sometimes breaking up with someone is impossible. Trust me. I know. I make a living from it. I own and operate an on-line break up service, Splitsville.com. Why would I want such a ruthless job and break people’s hearts?
Easy. You can’t see people’s auras behind a monitor. You see, I have a “gift.” Well. . .my Aunt Matilda calls it a gift. I call it chains. I’ve never been able to hold down a job because when too many people’s auras collide, I faint.
It’s no fun walking around fainting all day. So a couple of years ago when Erin, my best friend, wanted to dump her boyfriend. She was a big chicken, so I did it for her. Called his ass up, broke the news and Splitsville.com was born.
Here’s how it works. Clients contact me through an online form where they give their name, email address, working phone number for the dumpee, reason for dumping, a few details of their relationship, and a picture of the victim and, the most important part, payment in full. The reason for the cashola up front was in case the dump was a joke. In that case, they deserved to lose their money for being an ass and I deserved to keep it for having to deal with them.
I offer three “Breakup” packages. The cheapest and most popular is “the general breakup” for a low price of fifty dollars. “The engagement breakup” is a little steeper at one hundred dollars. It totally should be more because I can’t imagine being in the fiancé’s shoes on this one. And the worst and most expensive breakup of all is “the divorce breakup” setting the big jerk or jerkette back a mere two hundred dollars.
Of course it’s all done under my alias, Jenn, because you wouldn’t believe how many death threats I get. Some might be harmless, but some I have to take as serious.
It just so happens that two of my clients showed up dead. Low and behold the police tracked me down through the internet and it’s gotten me into a lot of hot water. This is where my “gift” will come in handy.
Someone is setting me up. Little do they know I’m psychic. . .
You can read more about Olivia in the first book in the “Olivia Davis” paranormal mystery series.
** Thanks to the Tonya, I have two (2) digital copies of SPLITSVILLE.COM to give away for either the Kindle or the Nook. Contest ends May 25. Leave a valid-email address with your comment. The e-book will be sent directly from the author. **
Meet the author
Tonya writes fun humorous fiction about quirky characters in quirky situations, some with romance and some with a little mystery. More than anything Tonya loves to connect with readers! I’m a huge fan of them and LOVE getting to know them. I love to make readers smile, and remember not to take life to seriously. KARMA plays a big role in my life, and I believe in being kind to everyone, even if they aren’t kind back. I’m addicted to coffee, McDonald’s Diet Coke, and Red Hots Candy! When I’m not writing about quirky characters and even quirkier situations, I’m busy being the princess, queen and jester of my domain which includes my BFF husband, three teenage boys and two dogs. Visit Tonya at http://tonyakappes.blogspot.com
Books are available at online booksellers.