…as experienced through the eyes of her co-worker and investigative sidekick Solosolo Namulau’ulu and Fountain of Youth Retirement Home (FoY) resident Gilad Kupper.
7:30 AM – Ride to work. Rylie brought cinnamon rolls!
8:00 AM – FoY’s employee meeting. Rylie sneaked bacon from the kitchen!
9:30 AM – Senior yoga class. Rylie tugged on a senior’s leg and he farted! Pew-pew!
11:00 AM – Walked in the park with the seniors. Rylie brought a Frisbee!
12:00 PM – Lunch. Rylie snagged us seconds!
1:00 PM – Senior bingo. Rylie gave me her candy bar winnings!
3:00 PM – Midday snack. Rylie bought everyone Slurpees!
5:00 PM – Dinner. Rylie talked the cook into chilidogs and fries!
7:00 PM – Senior movie night. Rylie picked the film Goonies!
8:00 PM – Drive home. Rylie grabbed leftovers from the kitchen!
Gilad Kupper’s journal:
Day 898 of my torment at FoY.
That Rylie Keyes rattled my cage during my ten-mile walk this morning. She is the female side of the nutty pair who works at FoY. She stopped to offer me a lift, splashing mud on my spotless sneakers, while her Samoan pal offered me a cinnamon roll inundated with despicable germs. I refused, naturally. Sugar is the bane of modern civilization. And germs are ech!
One look at Rylie’s ancient Pinto is enough to make me run for cover. I declined her offer of a ride, of course, wondering how I could also get out of this morning’s yoga class. These two are an annoyingly lively crew who know nothing about proper exercise.
The only reason I stay at FoY is to set a good example. I am slender and finely muscled, so I can teach everyone, fellow seniors and staff alike, a great deal about personal hygiene and fitness. I always experience a moment of disgust when the smell of bacon exudes from the kitchen. Rylie and Solo consume it in such great quantity that I’m convinced I’ll outlive them. If only they would listen to me. Oh well, I’ll speak at their funerals. I’m a gifted wordsmith.
My dodging of yoga class proved ineffective, so I regaled everyone with a perfect inversion stance. I had hoped Rylie would admire my expertise. Instead, she tried to help by pulling up on my leg. Always the gentlemen, I expertly camouflaged my body’s expulsion of wind. Of course, I left no scent. My gut is pristine.
I had no desire to toss around a Frisbee at the park. It must be chock-full of germs. Not to mention the possibility of stepping on doggie landmines in the grass. Rylie gave me one of her dopey grins and begged me to give it a whirl. She really is bubbly, wasting no time on mature behavior. And, oh lordy, does her breath smell like bacon.
Lunch was a copious affair of fat-laden food. I refused to eat anything but raw fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. However, Rylie and Solo managed to clear two plate fulls of bad cholesterol each. I shook my head, pondering how I will eulogize them. Certainly, future generations will see my eloquent speeches displayed in the Smithsonian.
This afternoon’s game of bingo for candy bars was outrageous! And a midday drink refreshment I could not identify, all brightly colored and icy. Scandalous! Even worse, dinner had no greens. Chilidogs and fries. Preposterous!
Later, Rylie put on a Steven Spielberg movie. It bore no resemblance to Schindler’s List. Goonies! Oy vey! How could such a nice Jewish boy make such a silly movie?
Finally, finally, Rylie and Solo left work for the day. They had small bags with them. I think that maybe they are thieves. Twelve hours I was forced to endure their company, and yet I know they are only paid for eight. Certainly, it’s a plot to get into my will.
You can read more about Rylie in Malicious Mischief, the first book in the “Rylie Keyes” mystery series, published by Entangled Publishing. The next book in the series is Delicious Mischief, coming out in April 2014. Books are available at retail and online booksellers.
Check out the Malicious Mischief’s trailer
Malicious Mischief Synopsis
Is it strange to have the unemployment office on speed dial? Not for twenty-four-year-old college dropout Rylie Keyes. Her current job at a small retirement home is worlds more important than all her past gigs, though: if she loses this job, she won’t be able to stop the forced sale of her grandfather’s home, a house that has been in the family for ages. However, to keep her job she must figure out the truth behind the death of a senior citizen who was found murdered while in her care. Explain that one, Miss Keyes.
The victim was thought to be a penniless man with a silly grudge against Rylie. However, his enemies will do whatever it takes to keep their part in his murder secret.
Forced to dust off the PI training she needs to keep hidden from her ex-detective grandfather, Rylie must juggle the attentions of two sexy police officers who both excite and fluster her. And as she trudges through the case, she has no idea that along the way she might win, or lose, a little piece of her heart.
GIVEAWAY: Comment on this post by noon EST on January 1, 2014, and you will be entered for a chance to win a Kindle version of Malicious Mischief. One winner will be chosen at random.
Meet the author
Marianne loves making people laugh. True, she should probably spend time on an analyst’s couch, but she’d rather spill loads of fun into her books. She’s rarely at a loss for words, which is wicked cool for a writer. And it would be poppycock to say she didn’t laze away her wonder years dreaming of far-off places.
Over the years, she’s traversed the insanely fun back roads of Australia and New Zealand, trekked the wildly exotic landscapes of Asia and Africa, soaked up the blistering Caribbean sun, survived bitter Arctic cold to witness the Northern Lights, and lost a wee bit of her heart to the awesomeness of Europe.
Her goals in life are simple: do more good than harm and someday master the do-not-mess-with-me look. She roosts in Washington State with her husband and two children.
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