What’s six feet tall, believes everything is about her, makes mountains out of molehills, obsesses over shoes and makeup, has undertaken a never-ending quest to find the perfect job, and used to be a guy?
Me! Jackie Thum.
In another lifetime, when I was an aspiring Broadway actor, my name was Jack Potter and I was married to a fellow thespian. But after two years of emotionally confused wedded bliss, I skipped town to pursue a journey of self-discovery. One annulment, one gender reassignment surgery, and one marriage later, I have a new exterior, new internal plumbing, new husband, new job, and a new and improved relationship with my former wife, Emily Andrew Miceli, who has a habit of stumbling upon dead bodies when she escorts tour guests around the world.
On this trip, we’re cruising up the Seine River from Normandy to Paris. I’m aboard as a member of an elite contingent of cosmetic industry sales reps and beauty consultants, because when it comes to convincing average Janes that their pathetic lives can turn on a dime by simply applying the right foundation, nobody can be more convincing than I am. Three other fabulously hot Texas beauties are sharing the perk with me, and overnight we’ve become BFFs, but Emily is rolling her eyes and mumbling the words “mean girls” a lot.
The scenery in France is spectacular, even though a mortician guest who keeps hyping advanced funeral planning has a nasty habit of ruining the moment. He’s an old duffer with a repertoire of World War II stories, a beef with his son, and a secret past that he’d prefer remain secret. Emily has her hands full trying to discover the scoop about one of the Iowa regulars and a lost love, and I can’t even begin to tell you the hoopla Margi Swanson has started with her cervical collars.
As we’ve gotten underway, I’ve enjoyed visiting the famous D-Day beaches in Arromanches, the medieval port of Honfleur with its cobbled lanes and cramped alleyways, and the resort town of Etretat with its grand promenade and towering, yet deadly, white cliffs. But when we moored in Rouen, where St. Joan of Arc was burned at the stake, I decided not to set foot off the boat. Not because of what happened to St. Joan almost five hundred years ago, but because of what might happen to me. I didn’t have to witness the untimely death of one of our tour guests to know that the wrong person died. If I hadn’t been overly cautious, it would have been me, because I’m the one with the bull’s-eye on my back.
I don’t care how neurotic Emily thinks I am.
Someone is trying to kill me.
You can read more about Jackie in Fleur de Lies, the ninth book in the “Passport to Peril” mystery series, published by Midnight Ink. The first book in the series is Alpine for You. Books are available at retail and online booksellers.
Comment on this post by 6 p.m. EST on May 13, and you will be entered for a chance to win a copy of FLEUR DE LIES. One winner will be chosen at random. Unless specified, U.S. entries only.
Meet the Author
When Maddy Hunter travels to faraway lands, she’s usually on the lookout for places to kill imaginary characters. Accompanying her are one long-suffering travel escort, and twelve quirky Iowa seniors who have been living inside her head for ten globetrotting years. The gangs’ latest misadventure finds them on a river cruise in France where nothing, of course, goes wrong. Fleur de Lies is the 9th book in her humorous Passport to Peril series. And later this year, if you prefer to listen to books rather than read them yourself, you’ll be able to find all nine of her books from Audible as audio books. Please join her on her Facebook Author page or visit her in-much-need-of-updating website at www.maddyhunter.com.
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