Have you ever tried to take three gallons of crazy and fit it into a two galloon bucket? That is exactly what I, Zula Fae Raines Payne, have to do in my retirement years.
Emma Lee Raines, my granddaughter, is my two gallon bucket. Out of the two of my granddaughters, I figured it was Emma Lee who was fit to take over my place as the undertaker of Eternal Slumber Funeral Home in Sleepy Hollow, Kentucky,
Now don’t let me scare you away from comin’ on down and making your preneed funeral arrangements, I’ll see to it that you get exactly what is comin’ to ya and see you get to the Great Beyond, other side, big guy in the sky; whatever you wanna call it.
Well, grab one of them sweet teas off the table and sit back and use your foot to tip the rocker back and forth. This here is prime real estate and prime front porch sittin’ for all the happenings in town square over yonder. You keep an eye out and you just might see Beulah Paige, the CEO of the gossip mill here in Sleepy Hollow. She can pack a tale better than
When she woke up, she was hootin’ and a hollerin’ about seeing dead people. I was fit to be tied! You know I had Doc Clyde give her something to cover her crazy. Normally we parade crazy as if it were an accessory, but crazy isn’t good for business when your clients are trusting you to take care of their loved ones, even the ones that aren’t sucking oxygen.
Regardless, Emma’s sister Charlotte, is helping Emma run Eternal Slumber and I’ve got my fingers crossed that Charlotte will turn business around because I have decided to run for Sleepy Hollow Mayor! You ain’t gonna believe who is running against me. O’Dell Burns, as in Burns Funeral home, as in Eternal Slumber’s direct competition. This town has gone nuts and I’m here to save it!
Me and the Auxiliary woman have gotten some Vote For Zula signs and screaming my campaign slogan: You let me take care of your loved ones for the afterlife, let me take care of you while living! And me and the girls were planning to pass out buttons and signs at the traveling carnival that’s come to town, but plans changed once one of the carnie workers made fun of me. I gave him a piece of my mind and I swear I went home and went to bed. Unfortunately that same carnie worker was found dead, floating in the dunking booth with a Vote For Zula sign stuck right through his heart.
Now I’m the one who looks nuts and this better not mess up my campaign!
You can read more about Zula and her campaign in A Ghostly Demise, the third book in the “Ghostly Southern” mystery series, published by HarperCollins. The first two books in the series are A Ghostly Undertaking and A Ghostly Grave.
About A Ghostly Demise, Ghostly Southern Mystery book three
From former self-published superstar and USA Today bestseller Tonya Kappes comes the third novel in the hilarious paranormal series featuring Emma Lee Raines, a funeral home director who can suddenly see dead people! ~ HarperCollins Publisher
The prodigal father returns—but this ghost is no holy spirit
When she runs into her friend’s deadbeat dad at the local deli, undertaker Emma Lee Raines can’t wait to tell Mary Anna Hardy that he’s back in Sleepy Hollow, Kentucky, after five long years. Cephus Hardy may have been the town drunk, but he didn’t disappear on an epic bender like everyone thought: He was murdered. And he’s heard that Emma Lee’s been helping lost souls move on to that great big party in the sky.
Why do ghosts always bother Emma Lee at the worst times? Her granny’s mayoral campaign is in high gear, a carnival is taking over the town square, and her hunky boyfriend, Sheriff Jack Henry Ross, is stuck wrestling runaway goats. Besides, Cephus has no clue whodunit. . .unless it was one of Mrs. Hardy’s not-so-secret admirers. All roads lead Emma Lee to that carnival—and a killer who isn’t clowning around.
GIVEAWAY: Leave a comment by 12 a.m. eastern on September 4 for the chance to win one of two print copies or one of two e-book copies of A Ghostly Demise. The giveaway is open to U.S. residents only. Four lucky commenters will be randomly selected. Winner will be notified within 48 hours after giveaway closes and you will have three days to respond after being contacted or another winner will be selected.
About the author
For years, USA Today bestselling author Tonya Kappes has been self-publishing her numerous mystery and romance titles with unprecedented success. She is famous not only for her hilarious plotlines and quirky characters, but her tremendous marketing efforts that have earned her thousands of followers and a devoted street team of fans. HarperCollins and Witness Impulse is thrilled to be publishing this insanely talented and wildly successful author for the first time with her hilarious and spooky Ghostly Southern series.
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If you have read A GHOSTLY UNDERTAKING, the first novel in the Ghostly Southern Mystery Series, and enjoyed it, please vote for Tonya for 2015 Best Fiction Novel! She’d greatly appreciate it.