Well, hello there. Oops … wait a minute. Grendel, stop that! Sorry. It’s dinner time and my cat needs to be fed. He’s tapping his one remaining front paw on my arm to remind me … like I’d forget. Hold on, I’ll be back.

There. Sorry! My name is Beth and I’m a ghost writer for politicians and celebrities. I know, I know. But someone has to do it. In my defense, the money is outrageously fantastic and allows me to order out a lot. Sure, New York City is a fun place – lots of shops, entertainment, and the restaurants are awesome. By the way, I love food and I AM working on getting out more. Dr. Joan, my therapist says, “C’mon Beth, you can do it.” She’s very plain-spoken which is why I like her. No psycho gobbledygook. And while I know she has my best interests at heart, I still have to use positive self-talk and mantras to put on a bra and leave my apartment. I’m embarrassed that at 36 years old, I can’t act like an adult.

Part of me is angry about the whole thing. Especially when Aunt Ethel sends post cards from fabulous places all over the world: China, Morocco, the Canary Islands … I wish I could travel too. I know the only thing stopping me is ME – but still I can’t seem to bust myself out of this apartment. It’s safe.

But I promised Dr. Joan I’d go out to dinner tonight. Yes, all by myself in the big city. I must admit, I’ve been wanting to go to Athena’s for years – I order souvlaki from them a lot, but have never been inside the restaurant. I wonder if it’s a neighborhood dive with plastic silverware and cracked Naugahyde booths? Or fancy with fine linens and lighted candles on the table? Geez, I hope not. I don’t have a thing to wear except this stained sweatshirt from Gatorworld.

My older sister, Victoria, would go. She’s an actress with confidence by the boatload. She can saunter into any situation like she owns the joint. I admit, I miss her and it’s been years since we last talked. Part of me wants to reach out but …

Anyways …

Do you think I should go? You do? Really? Well, I’m glad you’re so confident in my abilities to not spill anything, trip and fall, or generally make a complete ass out of myself. Because that’s usually what happens when I’m out in public. Still, Dr. Joan says you can’t die from embarrassment. Tonight I may prove her wrong.

Elizabeth Sails
Genre: Cozy Mystery
Release: October 2024
Format: Print, Digital, Audio
Purchase Link

For fans of The Bookish Life of Nina Hill and The Jetsetters, Elizabeth Sails is a shipboard cozy mystery that features an unintended quest for self-discovery, forgiveness, and an awesome buffet.

Beth Schiff ghostwrites autobiographies for politicians, despite her own life not warranting a footnote. Excitement for her is re-watching classic movies with a Whitman’s Sampler. But when her adventurous Aunt Ethel dies, Beth must scramble out of her comfy sweatpants and into some Spanx to find the missing will aboard a luxury cruise ship.

Figuring out which fork to use at dinner becomes the least of Beth’s worries. The will isn’t lost … it’s hidden. Aunt Ethel has devised an elaborate scavenger hunt, and each port stop forces Beth to confront her list of insecurities to get the next clue. If she fails, Ethel’s millions will revert to a much-hated relative, Max, who is responsible for her dismantled family.

When someone starts trying to sabotage her search, the game becomes personal and her energetic septuagenarian tablemates rally to help. But Beth must make the puzzle pieces fit before the cruise ends or Max will get his greedy hands on the money destined for charities.

Meet the author
A full-time writer in southwest Florida, Kristin Owens has 100+ bylines in celebrated magazines such as Wine Enthusiast and Writer’s Digest. With Court of Master Sommeliers and Cicerone certifications, she travels the world writing about wonderful wines, beautiful beers, and surprising spirits. Her debut novel, ELIZABETH SAILS, launches in 2024. Her high-energy workshops motivate writers to stick with it.