Hi. Okay, hi. My name is Kathi Muntz and I live at the Last Ditch Motel in Cuento, CA, with my wife and co-owner, Noleen. She does the bulk of the work – registration, bookings, etc. – and I spend most of my time at the attached laundromat, the Skweeky Kleen. I love my laundromat. I like things clean. If they’re so clean they squeak? Fine by me.

Morning is coffee and absolutely no conversation whatsoever. No news. No social media. No deafening scrape of butter knife on toast or crunching of teeth on buttered toast or gritty drag of dishrag on toast crumbs. I would ban toast if I was in charge.

But once I get to the Skweek, I’m unicorns and daisy chains all the way. My regulars love me. I can get any stain out of any fabric. I can dry garments in the drier that say “line dry only” and they look like I spread them out in lavender meadows. I fold shirts neater than they came from the store.

I don’t know where I’d be without the Skweek. This is because I have a second job. I’m a private investigator, licensed and trained. I run Trinity Investigations with the help of Todd Kroger and Lexy Campbell. And that whole deal is messy.

Take today. On paper, it looked as neat as a pin. Lexy has a counseling client who needed a pick-me-up. Todd offers wardrobe consulting (whether you want it or not) so he goes in to help the lady feel better about herself while she tries to save her marriage. He sees her house is a dumpster and gets me along to de-clutter. I find evidence, in all the chaos she’s got going on in there, that her no-good husband is cheating. He wasn’t even trying to hide it! So now she needs a detective to follow him around and get the proof she needs to adios the prenup. And I can do that too. Bang bang bang bang.

Only thing is, when I show her the proof, she starts crying and roaring and here we are in California where, even after COVID, people hug each other. All. The. Time. People hug hello. They hug goodbye. They hug for good news. They hug for tragedy. They hug friends and kids and cats and even dogs. Or maybe dogs and even cats. I can never decide. Cats clean themselves but they do it with their tongues. Dogs never clean themselves but, when they get baths, it’s soap and water. Not saliva.

Long story short, this chick up and hugs me. If I was a worse detective and only ever let people down, no one would lunge at me in germy gratitude. But when I hit it right out of the park like I do? Here they come! Today, she was still crying and I got tears and snot on my shirt. I won’t bill her extra. Like I said, I own a laundromat.

And I needed an hour in there, alone, scrubbing and polishing, before I was myself again. I won’t tell the others. Lexy would only insist that I’ve got a problem and Todd – believe it or not – would comfort me. With a hug.

I’ll tell Noleen. She has a talent for colorful insults and a fierce approach to being on someone’s team. In this case, mine. Her take on Mrs. Mucus McMucusface is the only thing that will get me laughing again. We eat, shower, and watch Matlock in our jammies. Life is sweet.

Scotzilla, A Last Ditch Mystery Book 7
Genre: Cozy Mystery
Release: December 2024
Format: Print, Digital
Purchase Link

Lexy’s wedding becomes a crime scene when a murderer dares to strike on her big day in this superbly plotted and wickedly funny cozy.

Lexy Campbell is getting married! But in the six months of planning it took to arrive at the big day, she has become . . . a challenge. Friendships are strained to breaking point, Lexy’s parents are tiptoeing around her, and even Taylor, her intended, must be having second thoughts. Turns out it’s moot. Before the happy couple can exchange vows, Sister Sunshine, the wedding celebrant, is discovered dead behind the cake, strangled with the fairy lights.

Lexy’s dream wedding is now not just a nightmare: it’s a crime scene. She vows not to get drawn into the case, but the rest of the Last Ditch crew are investigating a bizarre series of goings-on in Cuento’s cemetery, and every clue about the graveyard pranks seems to link them back to Lexy’s wedding day. Will the Ditchers solve the case? Will Sister Sunshine’s killer be found? Will Lexy ever get her happy ever after? Not even Bridezilla deserves this . . .

Fans of Janet Evanovitch and Sarah Strohmeyer will fall head over heels for this addictive mystery that’s full of twists and laugh out loud humour.

About the author
Serial awards-botherer, Catriona McPherson (she/her) was born in Scotland and immigrated to the US in 2010. She writes: preposterous 1930s private-detective stories; realistic 1940s amateur-sleuth stories about a medical social worker; and contemporary psychological standalones. These are all set in Scotland with a lot of Scottish weather. She also writes modern comedies about a Scot out of water in a “fictional” college town in Northern California. SCOTZILLA is book number seven of what was supposed to be a trilogy. She is a proud lifetime member and former national president of Sisters in Crime. Connect at catrionamcpherson.com.