“Hi, I’m Lily Matsuo. I’m so happy we were asked to do this today! I get very excited about . . . well, about everything! Charlee says the exclamation mark is my spirit animal! A while back, you met Charlee, I mean, Charlemagne Russo here. . .

. . . so you won’t be surprised when we tell you she’s here in Portland with me and Clementine Sm!th at the Stumptown Writer’s Conference! We’re writers, too, but not famous like Charlee. I write picture books and Clementine writes true crime. We’re also last-minute conference volunteers. Charlee asked us to chat with you because she’s running around like a chicken with her head cut off—”

“Cliché. You should have said something like Charlee is running around like a Goldendoodle driving a scooter or a kombucha-inspired food truck that forgot to set its brake. We are in Portland, after all.”

“You’re so smart, Clementine! You’re absolutely right. And I love your outfit, by the way. Where did you find leg warmers with a matching beret?”

“Hipsters R Us.”

“I thought you were going to say they were hand-crafted by the children of Himalayan alpaca ranchers.”

“They don’t raise alpacas in the Himalayas. Plus, I only buy locally-sourced, free-range leg warmers.”

“You’re so woke! Am I using that right? Woke? Never mind. We better get back to telling them about Charlee, okay?”

“Whatevs.”

“Great! As I was saying, Charlee is really, really busy because she has to put on this conference almost by herself since all the regular volunteers got food poisoning! She was coming in anyway because she’s on the faculty, but she’s also a good friend of Viv, the conference director. They go way back! They even went on a book tour together! But when Charlee got here to Portland, Viv told her that her daughter Hanna was kidnapped! Can you imagine? But since Charlee is so awesomely awesome, she told Viv she’d handle the conference so Viv could concentrate on finding Hanna!”

“Tell them about the dogs.”

“I was just getting to that!”

“If you keep nodding that hard, your head might fall off.”

“Oh, Clementine! You’re too funny! Anyway . . . the dogs. They’re so adorable it makes me cry! There’s this little beagle with spots and a greyhound named Shasta and a gorgeous German shepherd who went number two in the lobby and Charlee stepped in it and a weimaraner and a basset hound and one of the trainers told me they came all the way from St Louis. Did you know you can go all the way up in that Arch they have there? I’ve always wanted to do that ever since—”

“Focus, Lily.”

“You’re right! I need to focus! The dogs . . . came for a . . . dog show . . . but the . . . hotel . . . double-booked . . . them . . . with . . . our . . . conference!”

“Gnarly focus.”

“Thanks! But it’s not a dog show like you’re thinking, everyone. Not where they just get groomed and trot around a ring. This is an agility dog show! But it’s raining — we told you we were in Portland, right? — so all the trainers set up the obstacles in the lobby so they could practice! There are tunnels made of chairs and blankets, potted plant slaloms, hassock jumping! It’s so much fun!”

“Did you actually squee? I’ve never heard anyone squee before.”

“Sometimes it slips out!”

“Uh oh. Phone call.”

“What’s that ringtone, Clementine?”

“Arctic Monkeys. Is that yours ringing too? I should’ve guessed you’d have ‘We’re Going to be Friends’ as yours.”

“It’s Charlee. She wants us both back in the workroom. Sorry we’ve got to cut this short.”

“No rest for the wicked.”

“You’re not wicked, Clementine, no matter what everyone says! Hey! Isn’t that a cliché?”

“You caught me. I’ll text Charlee back. Wonder if she stuck her big fat nose into Hanna’s disappearance yet.”

“I guess they’ll have to read Foul Play On Words to find out!”

You can read more about Lily and Clementine in Foul Play On Words, the second book in the “Mystery Writer’s” mystery series, coming April 8, 2019.

Between a kidnapping, a double booking, and a crew of hapless volunteers, Charlee is worried the writing conference will go to the dogs

Mystery author Charlee Russo agrees to speak at a Portland writers’ conference organized by her friend Viv Lundquist. When Viv picks her up at the airport, she frantically explains that her daughter Hanna has been kidnapped. Unfortunately, Viv has a history of embellishing the truth and Hanna has a history of disappearing.

Charlee takes over the conference preparation so Viv can search for her daughter, but the situation gets tense when the hotel double-books the event with a dog show. Despite it all, Charlee is compelled to investigate after she learns shocking secrets about both Hanna and Viv. Can she find Hanna in time, or will a plot twist lead her to a ruff ending?

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About the author
Becky Clark is the seventh of eight kids, which explains both her insatiable need for attention and her atrocious table manners. She likes to read funny books so it felt natural to write them too. She surrounds herself with quirky people and pets who end up as characters in her books. Her stout-hearted dog keeps her safe from menacing squirrels, dry leaves, and deer, but not plastic bags. Those things are terrifying.

If you want the bonus backstory about Charlee and Viv’s Book Tour, all you have to do is sign up for Becky’s “So Seldom It’s Shameful” Newsletter here.

Follow Becky at beckyclarkbooks.com, at BookBub, on Amazon, on Facebook, and at Goodreads.

If you enjoy her books, she’d swoon if you left a review. Yes, swoon.

All comments are welcomed.