I don’t know what you people want from me. If you’re trying to get some dirt on my boyfriend, Bert Shambles, keep dreaming. Bert’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met—totally different from the typical Long Island men who hit on you at clubs with their gold chains and hairy chests. I’m done with those guys.
Before I met Bert, my typical day went something like this: get up around 9, go downstairs and see what the cook has made for breakfast, then sit out on one of the terraces and catch up with texts and Facebook while the landscapers tend to the 15 acres we live on overlooking Long Island Sound. Then I might work out or go swimming, or go to the club, make plans with friends—the usual stuff that 22-year olds do.
It sounds cushy, and it is, but the truth is that before I met Bert I was miserable. All I was ever really doing was trying to fill the emptiness of my days, while under the thumb of my parents and brothers. I’ve been overprotected and sheltered my whole life; I’m definitely privileged but I don’t think I’m spoiled, if that makes sense. Bert and I were in high school English together—I was a year behind but I was put into the advanced class—I had a huge crush on him back then but he never noticed me until we met again recently.
A day with Bert is unlike anything I’ve experienced. We’ve broken into people’s houses, threatened a powerful real estate developer, and I’ve been kidnapped and Bert was almost killed trying to save me. It’s a lot more exciting than scheduling pedicures at the spa, I can tell you that.
And yeah, sometimes he does stuff that makes me want to put his head through a wall—like the other day I flew across country on the red-eye just because I was worried about him and wanted to see him, and I get to his place and he has two women in there with him! And one of them is coming out of the shower! I could have killed him—and believe me, I could if I wanted to—but here’s the crazy thing: after Bert explained it to me, and I understood what had happened and that nothing had gone on except he was trying to help them, I couldn’t be mad at him. My brothers are always doing bad stuff and then denying it, all innocent-like, but with Bert there’s usually a good explanation. He’s actually. . .honest, I guess is the word. How weird is that for a guy his age?
Also, most people our age are still living at home (hello, I’m one of them), with no clue where to go or how to move forward, but Bert is determined to pay his own way and live on his own terms, however humbly. That’s something I totally admire about him. Half the time I want to punch him, and half the time I think I’m falling in love with him, and it doesn’t really matter because we’re both in our early twenties so it’s supposed to be kind of crazy and dramatic, right?
Those are just some of the things I love about Bert. He knows that I’m not shallow like some people, just because I’m rich and a daddy’s girl and my daddy happens to be a very powerful man with a bad temper. That’s why I suggest you ladies all stay away from Bert. If I ever come over one morning and find you hanging out at his place, you’re not going to be so lucky, believe me.
You can read more about Aria in Tie Died, the second book in the “Bert Shambles” mystery series, published by Cozy Cat Press. The first book in the series is Dead Stock.
About Tie Died
Bert Shambles is still recovering from the injuries he sustained in his first adventure when he is recognized at the local library by a lovely hippie named Scarlet. She hires Bert to help dispose of her deceased father’s memorabilia and takes him to a music festival at a local park, where they witness the tragic electrocution of the lead singer, who is an old friend of Scarlet’s. Bert soon finds himself entangled in a plot to steal a rare guitar, accidentally drugged with a powerful psychedelic, and dumped by his girlfriend and soul mate, Aria–until a second rock musician is found dead, and the clues all point to him as the prime suspect.
GIVEAWAY: Leave a comment by 12 a.m. eastern on May 29 for the chance to win a print copy of Tie Died. The giveaway is open to U.S. residents only. Winner will be notified within 48 hours after giveaway closes and you will have three days to respond after being contacted or another winner will be selected. Make sure to check your SPAM folder.
About the author
Tim Hall is the author of the Bert Shambles Mysteries, featuring an amateur sleuth trying to stay out of trouble while temporarily living back in his Long Island hometown. He works part-time at a thrift shop and has a complicated relationship with a mobster’s daughter. The series has quickly gained a small but devoted fan base—including online magazine Splice Today, which called Dead Stock one of the best novels of 2013 and said “Shambles is an amazing character.” Tim lives in New York City with his wife and son and pet hamster. As if New York doesn’t have enough rodents. Visit at timhallbooks.wordpress.com