My name is Marabella Vinegar. No, I’m not making it up. It’s not an alias, or a pseudonym. My family name was courtesy of the kind folks at Ellis Island. We were respectable Vinnaucyurs back in south-middle Poland. My strange first name came from my grandparents: Marvin and Bella. At least it wasn’t just Bella. As in Lugosi.
I work in the public relations department of Chelsea College, one of the worst colleges in NYC. I make stuff up out of whole cloth, trying to make the place look good. So that’s my job. Oh, I also have a terrible boss. Donna is a lazy tyrant. Doesn’t want to work and wants everybody to do her bidding. Aarrgh.
That’s one reason why I’ve been seeing a shrink for years. The other big one was my relationship with my mother. Which was your basic love-and-homicidal relationship. Until she got really ill and died.
But a week later, she came back. And landed on my living room sofa, shoving me off onto the floor.
“Why are you here?” I asked, trying to maintain my dignity while dusting off my behind. Being scolded by a . . . my mother, who was dead. Wasn’t she? “Didn’t you . . .? Aren’t you . . .?” Of all the crazy stunts my mother had ever pulled, this one took the cake.
“Yes and no, sweetheart,” she said. “You think it’s that easy? Has anything in my life . . .”
Oh, no, I thought. I have to keep listening to this stuff even after she’s dead?
She was wearing the white satin and lace number she’d been buried in. “I volunteered for this job. Because very soon, you’re going to need me. And by the way, a lady doesn’t sprawl on the floor.” She shook a finger at me.
My head was spinning. I really needed to get to my after-work rendezvous with my shrink. I was already late. “Why will I need you? Am I in some kind of trouble?” I needed her help even from beyond the . . . grave? At the age of almost (gulp) forty? An independent — well sort of, except for my shrink – woman? With a job (I can’t call it a career) that I’ve had for too many years. And still hated.
She smiled and nodded her head. “It’s a secret. For now.”
“A secret? For now? What?” She was scaring me.
“I’m not allowed to tell you. But don’t worry, your mother is here now. To take care of you. And anybody who tries to hurt you, will do it over my dead body.” She yawned. “I’m tired.” She closed her eyes. “Believe me, it was a very long trip.”
Her dead body? I wasn’t even going to try to process that one. A long trip? From . . . ? I very much did not want to know.
She did look exhausted, and very pale. I felt guilty, which, of course, was her specialty, and retrieved one of her lumpy hand-crocheted afghans. She’d nearly gone blind making them, as she was fond of reminding me. I covered her, tucking her in.
“That’s a good girl,” she murmured, smiling beatifically.
What was she doing? What was I doing?
In a minute, she was sound asleep. Snoring loudly. They actually snore?
There was something different about her. Well, of course, dummy. She’d been in a casket, under the ground. I shivered, not exactly wanting to relive that scene. The funeral had been pretty traumatic, because my mother’s family’s behavior at anyone’s funeral was to screech, sob, and tear at their bosoms. And since bosoms in my family generally came in the large economy size, that made for quite a bit of tearing.
Maybe I was going mad, which my friend Toniann tells me will happen if I keep working at Chelsea College. Or maybe I was hallucinating and conjured up an image of my mother.
But why would I do that? That much of a masochist I didn’t think I was. At least, not yet.
If I did any kind of conjuring, it would be someone tall, dark and handsome. And who was relatively sane. These days, I had absolutely no love life at all. Every relationship had been a disaster, of one kind or another. One guy turned out to be a modern Marquis de Sade, wanting me to do things that scared the wits out of me. On the second date, yet. Another guy turned out to want a five-some. Four people plus a German shepherd engaged in . . . something unthinkable. I called the SPCA. Then there was the guy who wanted us to bathe in maple syrup. I told him I was allergic. And to go to the nearest pancake house for his fix.
Meanwhile, I had to get to my appointment with Dr. Ditstein, my holistic shrink. Maybe she’d have some answers. But this could be too much even for her magic powers.
Giveaway: Two readers (U.S. entries only, please) selected at random will receive a copy of Dead Shrinks Don’t Talk, either Kindle/Nook (open to everyone) or print (U.S. residents only). Leave a comment below for your chance to win. The giveaway ends December 25, 2018. Good luck everyone!
You can read more about Marabella in Dead Shrinks Don’t Talk, the first book in the NEW “Mother and Me” mystery series.
When Marabella Vinegar finds her psychotherapist’s bloody corpse, she becomes the NYPD’s perp of choice. Her recently deceased mother—the bane of her existence in life—comes back as a ghost to help get her out of trouble and find the real killer. Things get even worse when, thanks to Marabella and her mother’s sleuthing, someone tries to kill her. Then another body is found and Marabella is thrown in jail, awaiting trial for two murders. Can she and her mother-the-ghost-detective find the killer before Marabella becomes corpse number three?
Purchase Link
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Meet the author
I am the author of seven published books, fiction and non-fiction. Dead Shrinks Don’t Talk, the first book in the three-book Mother-and-Me mystery series, was published by Black Opal Books in May, 2018. Grave Expectations, book 2, is scheduled to be released by the end of this year, and Death of a Nuisance, book 3, is scheduled for publication in 2019. Halley and Me, a coming-of-age novel, won the 2012 Grassic Short Novel Prize and was published by Evening Street Press in 2013. Mother, Murder and Me was a winner of the 2011 First New Author (fiction) Award and was published by Swyers Publishing in 2012. Non-fiction books include Teenage Suicide and Street Gangs in America, published respectively by Simon & Schuster and Franklin Watts. Street Gangs in America received a book award from the National Federation of Press Women. I am also a former contributing writer and columnist for The New York Times.
More information is available on my website at sjgardner6.wixsite.com/mysite.
All comments are welcomed.
I love her name! I would run for the hills if my mother came back! This sounds like a series that will be fun! Thank you for the chance to win this book.
Actually, Debbie, I would, too! Glad you like Marabella Vinegar’s name. Believe it or not, it just came to me, as did her mother!
Sounds like a fun series
thanks, SandyG! I’m Sandy G, too– but the name was already taken– maybe by you? (lol)
This book sure sounds different from any of the books that I read. Do like a mystery though. Fun to read this book from an author I have never read any books from.
Glad you like the idea of reading something different, Linda!
LOVE the cover!!!
Thanks Cyn. I love the cover, too! The art director at Black Opal Books is great to work with. He and I worked well on the second book, too, Grave Expectations, which will be out December 29!
Please! Please! Please!
Here’s wishing you luck, Amy! Hope you enjoy the book!
A little weird but it does sound like an interesting read.
Hi, Pauline,
Yes, the series is a little weird. Okay, maybe a lot weird. But imho, makes for interesting reading!
Sandra Gardner is a new author to me. Your information on her book is a delight to us who enjoy finding new authors.
thanks, Robin! Hope you enjoy the book!
Yes please Dru, I want this one. I spent lots of time with shrinks and therapists before I was even 12 years old.
Hi Nora-Adrienne,
Me, too! But I was an adult (more or less) — before I began to spend half my life in therapy. Eventually, it helped. Hope it was the same for your experience.
This new series sounds like a hoot, and I’d love to win a print copy of the first book!
Hi Karlene
Thanks! If I do say so myself, the Mother-and-Me Mystery Series is — a hoot! and then some…
This new series sounds like fun, and I’d love to win a copy of the first book!
Thanks, Karlene!
Good luck!
Congratulations, Karlene!
Are you looking for an ebook or print copy? Please let me know and I’ll have the publisher get it to you. If it’s a print copy, I’ll need your address.
I love the sense of humor Marabella has–sounds like a fun new series and can’t wait to read it.
Rochelle,
thanks! I have to admit that Marabella Vinegar does have an excellent sense of humor. Even when she’s in a scary situation….
I can’t wait to read this and find out what happens!!Sounds terrific and so different. Thanks for the chance to win a copy!
Hi Barbara
Thanks! And the Mother-and-Me Mystery Series is definitely different!
This sounds like a fun series from a new-to-me author. Thank you for the chance to win a copy of Dead Shrinks Don’t Talk.
Hi Peggy,
Thanks! Hope you enjoy Dead Shrinks Don’t Talk.
This sounds like a great series! I would love to win a copy of Dead Shrinks Don’t Talk. Happy Holidays to all!
Thanks, Katherine!
And good luck!
This book is one I am going to enjoy reading!
Thanks, Renee!
Can’t wait to see how Marabella deals with her mother’s return.
thanks, Mary C!
There’ll be lots going on with her mother’s “help,” for sure!
I definitely want to read “Dead Shrinks Don’t Talk”. Sounds like a my kind of book!
Thanks, Diane!
Glad Dead Shrinks Don’t Talk is your kind of book!
oops, sorry Dianne for misspelling your name!
Now this looks fun.
Thanks, Kaye!
Thanks for this post. This is a new author to me and I’d love to win a paperback and try out the series!! Happy holidays!!!
Good luck, Linda!
Congratulations, Linda!
Are you looking for an ebook or print copy?
Please let me know and I’ll have the publisher send it to you.
If it’s print, I’ll need your address.
**** WINNERS ****
Dead Shrinks Don’t Talk are Karlene Barger, Linda Herold
Congratulations!