It was just an average summer day in Himmarshee, Fla. — so hot the hens were laying hard-boiled eggs — when my middle daughter Mace broke the news.
”Prepare yourself, Mama. You are not going to like the title of the latest book.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” I said, fanning myself with a menu and muffler price list from Juan’s Auto Repair and Taco Shop. “What kind of slander has Miss Snippy Author come up with this time?”
Just then, Mace’s phone rang. She mouthed, ”It’s Carlos,” and raised a finger for me to wait.
Judging by the smile lighting her face, there seemed to be a chance my last unmarried daughter would finally find happiness with her hunky police detective beau. At least that’s how it looked at this particular millisecond.
As Mace chatted with Carlos Martinez, I swatted mosquitoes and blotted my Apricot Ice lipstick, waiting to find out how upset I should be. My feelings about ”Author” Deborah Sharp are well known in our slice of middle Florida, north of Lake Okeechobee and south of Holopaw. It’s common knowledge she mines my life for fascinating tidbits, and then passes them off as fiction. Do I ever get credit? No! And every single one of Miss Fancy Pants’ titles ends up making me look bad. It goes all the way back to the first book, MAMA DOES TIME.
How’s that for character assassination? If you read that one, you know the murder charges were nothing but a misunderstanding. I scooted in and out of the slammer so fast, my dark roots hardly had time to sprout. Still, Hair Today Dyed Tomorrow beauty parlor was one of my first stops once I got sprung.
Just thinking about the new book was making me madder than a sack of cut snakes. I coughed to get Mace’s attention, and then gave her the wrap-it-up sign. She cupped the cell phone to her chin and turned her back. I poked her between the shoulders and chanted ”The title? The title?” a few times until she finally hung up.
“Fine!” she said. “It’s about that night you had too much pink wine and tossed Sal’s wedding ring out with the garbage.”
That’d be Sal Provenza, my fifth — and final — husband. If you want to read all the cheap shots Ms. Sharp took at my checkered marital history, that’d be Book No. 3, titled MAMA GETS HITCHED.
I steeled myself. “So, what’s the name of this fifth one?”
“Mama Gets Trashed,” Mace said.
See what I mean? Slander! I was barely even tipsy; not even close to trashed. Of course, the search for the ring Sal gave me led to all kinds of mayhem. Even aside from the murder, there were some sexual shenanigans that had half of Himmarshee blusher pinker than my favorite sweet wine. As usual, Mace and I were right in the thick of things. Everything started as we were picking through trash piles at the country dump . . .
Deborah is giving away one (1) copy of MAMA GETS TRASHED. Leave a comment to be included in the giveaway. Contest ends September 10; US entries only.
Meet the author
Deborah Sharp writes about a sweet-tea-and-barbecue slice of Florida in her funny, Southern-flavored Mace Bauer Mysteries. Think Janet Evanovich, if Stephanie Plum had a couple of cousins named Bubba. A former USA Today reporter, Deborah is married to Kerry Sanders of NBC News. They live in Fort Lauderdale, where Deborah spends her spare time trying to keep the iguanas out of the hibiscus. Mama Gets Trashed is her fifth book, published by Midnight Ink. Visit her online at www.DeborahSharp.com or read an excerpt from TRASHED, here: www.mamagetstrashed.com
Books are available at retail and online booksellers.
Poor Mama…I’d get trashed if I had to fight all those titles! 🙂
Hmm, something’s wrong when I can’t enter a contest for a book that has me in it. 🙂 Good luck to everybody who enters and enjoy my character!
This sounds like a hoot. Would love to win it.
this series has been on my WishList!!! sounds like a series i would enjoy!!
thank you for the giveaway!!!
Hey, y’all! Deborah Sharp here. Thanks to Dru for inving me … er, MAMA … to visit her wonderful blog today. Deanna: You’re right! I have given the poor woman a lot of reason to get trashed. Elaine: I guess you’ll just have to move South of the (Canadian) Border. I hear Himmarshee, Fla., is a lovely place to live, if you don’t mind the occasional murder. Susan: Good luck to you (and all the entrants) Cyn: Mama loves to be on wish lists. Fingers crossed!
So looking forward to reading this one!
I love this series. It’s one of my must reads!!
I love this title !!!!
I loved mama does time! Would love to read the newest one!
I love reading about Momma and her ‘adventures’. They make my like look so humdrum by comparison.
Sign me up Dru, I’d love to win a copy of this book.
Love this series! Thanks for the chance to win.
I love Mama, glad she’s back again!
If not “trashed”, was she “lightly garbaged”?
Love this series too. Please enter me
would love to win this 🙂
She’s not at all like my Mama—quite the opposite, but I think I’ll like her. Thanks for the chance to win.
suefarrell.farrell@gmail.com
A funny book written about the south, what’s not to like. We are sort of different down here.
Poor Mama! I would get so upset if my son wrote books with those titles!
Haven’t had a chance to read any from this series yet. Would love to win.
CarolNWong(at)aol(dot)com
So enjoy all the Southernisms and it sounds like a fun series to read. Must get started soon reading Mama’s adventures.
Oooh, another series that has my name writ large all over it. I can’t wait to get my my hands on these.
Love this series and would love to get this book. 🙂
Karen, squenn, Kathy and Dina: thanks! Mama loves y’all, too.
noraadrienne: That’s why I made up Mama; my life is humdrum in comparison, too.
Nancy, Kate, Staci and Debbie: Fingers crossed!
Libby: ”lightly garbaged,” love it!
Suekey: now I have to know what your mama is like??
Annette wrote: ”We are sort of different down here” Amen to that!
Barbara and Kate217: hope you have the chance to check out the books.
Nancy: thanks for reading.
Good luck to all the entrants.
Every time I read the synopsis of this book I start to laugh. Obviously I need a copy, thanks for the chance to win one.
Just the title is enough to warrant a read. The next one is possibly: Grandma Gets Trashed? Sign me up. Thanks. judydee22002@yahoo dot com
Laughter is needed in my life and in my reading as those are the kinds of books that I want to pick up. Love cozies and humor so this book sounds like a great fit for me. Looking forward to reading it via a win or with an order from Amazon, or B & N, etc. I know you have to have a great sense of humor to write this kind of story and the readers would love to get to know you more, not just Mama. That you to Dru for having Deborah’s character on the blog; it was fun reading. Keep up the interesting writing and fun stories Deborah.
LOL!! Sounds awesome! Would love to win!!
I love this series!!! So glad Mama’s got another adventure! Thanks for the chance to win a copy.
This sounds like such a fun series!!
Carolee888: You’re lucky your son treats his mama nicely!
carlrscott and Judy: Glad to hear I hooked you with the synopsis and the title.
Cynthia: that’s why I started writing the series, to laugh after a career covering sad stories as a reporter. Much more fun!
Ditto to Cindy, Lindar and Lisa: It’s all about having fun. Hope you do!
I was just thinking about this series this morning and then here it pops up! Deborah Sharp has an unique sense of humor that I love and would love to get a copy of her latest.
Sounds interesting. I haven’t read any books by this author.
Jeannie: How weird that you were thinking of the books, and Mama made an appearance. Magic??
Michelle: Hope you get the chance to read about Mace, Mama, and the gang in Himmarshee, Fla.
Thanks Deborah for letting us know about Mama’s latest mishaps.
And thanks to you, Dru, for inviting me to your FABULOUS blog. Thanks, too, to everyone who read the post and entered the contest to win a MAMA GETS TRASHED. Fingers crossed, y’all!
I hope I didn’t get here too late. I have Mama on my list to read & I can’t wait to get started. thank you for the review and the contest.
contest is closed.
Congrats Nancy R.