I’m Josie Marcus, St. Louis mystery shopper and mall moll. I protect and serve Mrs. Minivan, my name for shopping moms.
Let me tell you about the day I got an assignment that led to two murders – and nearly got me killed.
I reported to Harry the Horrible, my boss at Suttin Services. He wanted me to eat brains.
“Do I look like a zombie?” I asked.
“Not raw brains,” Harry said. “Or people brains. These are cow brains. I want you to eat fried brain sandwiches. You have to mystery-shop local restaurants for a big-time food tour. Brains are real St. Louis food.”
“They’re disgusting,” I said.
“Brains are a delicacy,” Harry said. “Look at all the other good food you get to eat – toasted ravioli, St. Louis pizza . . .”
“I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the brains,” I said. “Did you ever eat brain sandwiches?”
“Sure,” Harry said. “If you cover them with ketchup, they’re not half bad.”
Harry would eat Alpo with ketchup. His office wastebasket looked like a culinary crime scene heaped with red-spattered takeout bags.
Harry looked like a case for the fashion police. Bunches of coarse brown hair sprouted from his fingers, ears, nostrils – everywhere but his scalp.
“Choke down the brains and then enjoy the rest,” he said.
Choke was right. “Why do I have to eat brains? St. Louis has so many good restaurants. We’re a city of foodies.”
“So what did you have for dinner last night, Miz Foodie?”
“Macaroni and cheese,” I said.
“Made from specially aged cheddar?” Harry asked. “And that macaroni? Did you whip it up from organic wheat?”
“Kraft makes a quality product,” I said.
“I thought so. Josie, this is a big deal. This is TAG Tours – that’s Travel America Guided Tours, out of New York City. They’re for sophisticated travelers. TAG’s New York scouts identified toasted ravioli, pizza, pig ear sandwiches, and brain sandwiches as the exotic local dishes.”
“Pig ears, too?” My stomach fell like an elevator with snapped cables.
“That’s a specialty in African-American neighborhoods,” Harry said. “Do you want the job or not?”
I had to worry about my own weekly food tour at the supermarket. I’m a single mom with an 11-year-old, Amelia, to support. Mystery-shopping jobs are getting scarce in the ailing economy.
“I’ll do it,” I said. Would Amelia appreciate this sacrifice?
“Good girl.” Harry handed me a list. “The restaurants that make the cut will be on the tour. That guarantees them 50 to 200 prepaid meals at least once a week.”
I felt a surge of pride – and power. Thanks to me, visitors from around the world would dine in selected local restaurants. I could dole out fat rewards to the restaurants who met TAG’s standards. I recognized most of them. They were small, family-owned businesses.
The last four names looked out of place.
“Why is a bakery here?” I asked. “And a chocolate maker?”
“You have to eat local chocolate,” Harry said. “And gooey butter cake, another city specialty.”
“Sweet,” I said, sounding like my daughter.
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DEATH ON A PLATTER, Elaine Viets’ seventh Josie Marcus Mystery Shopper mystery, debuts Nov. 1 as a paperback and an e-book from NAL, a division of Penguin Group. Elaine has eaten pig-ear sandwiches, brain sandwiches, as well as lots of local chocolate and gooey butter cake.
Elaine Viets’s bestselling Dead-End Job series is a satiric look at a serious subject – the minimum-wage world. Her character, Helen Hawthorne, works a different low-paying job each book, from telemarketer to hotel maid. Publishers Weekly called her hardcover debut “wry social commentary.” Extreme body-building is the setting for PUMPED FOR MURDER, the tenth Dead-End Job mystery. Elaine’s second series features St. Louis mystery shopper Josie Marcus. Elaine has won the Agatha, Anthony and Lefty Awards. Visit Elaine at www.elaineviets.com
** To celebrate the release of DEATH ON A PLATTER, I’m giving away one copy of the book, thanks to the publisher. To enter, you must leave a valid e-mail address in the comment box with your comment. This is only open to US addresses at the publisher’s request. Contest ends on November 8th at 6pm EST. Winner will be notified by e-mail and has 2 days to respond. The book will be shipped directly from the publisher. **
Books are available at retail and online booksellers.
Josie is such a trooper. Not sure if I could do her jobs.
Josie is a braver woman than me – I would NEVER eat some of those foods!
kpbarnett1941[at]aol.com
I love both of Elaine’s series, but my heart especially goes out to Josie. I’m sure some day when she’s grown, Amelia will appreciate all Josie’s done for her (and maybe even Josie’s mom will appreciate her, too.)
bevarcher at me dot com
Another one of my favorite series!!!1
afarage(at)earthlink(dot)net
The closest I’ve come to that is an exotic Jewish dish called “sweet breads”. It’s from a cow, that’s all the family would ever tell me. LOL
Elaine’s stories are always interesting and quirky. I’d love to own a copy of this book.
NoraAdrienne (at) gmail (dot) com
Nora, sweetbreads are the cow’s thalamus gland. My husband considers them a great delicacy. I couldn’t choke them down.
Mare, Karen and Alicia, Josie and I appreciate your encouragement
I have always wondered if I could be a mystery shopper—but not if I would have to eat brains!!
suefarrell(dot)farrell(at)gmail(dot)com
Brains are pretty unconventional for mystery shoppers, Sue. My mom was one and she ate a lot of fried chicken.
Thanks Elaine for letting Josie give us a hint at her day.
As an Ozark native, I happen to love fried brains and scrapple and all that stuff. Don’t eat it as a vegetarian, but still miss it.
mizzelliesmart[at]yahoo[dot]com
Sweetbreads are not Jewish, organs ain’t Kosher.
On the other hand, my father enjoyed brain sandwiches from time to time. Gooey Butter Cake, Bissingers Chocolate and flat square cut pizza too.
Ellie, my grandmother, who was one of 14 kids, ate the chicken tail (known as the “Pope’s nose” in our Catholic household) all her life, even when she could afford chicken breasts. She got used to it as a kid.
She made good brains with onions.
Alan P., just the thought of St. Louis gooey butter cake, chocolate and pizza makes my stomach growl. I’ll be serving treats at my St. Louis signings Nov. 10 through 14. Check out the details at http://www.elaineviets.com
Makes me miss Herbie’s lobster mac and cheese. If Herbie’s only did mail order!
I have to read this now if only to see if Josie eats brains.
No brains, please! I’ll take the macaroni and cheese. I have the first in the series but haven’t read it.
spookycat72(at)gmail(dot)com
Yum. I can feel my cholesterol rising.
That’s a really interesting concept for books, considering alot of people do this everyday. Now I want to read it! Thanks for the chance to win a copy.
TerryParrish 2010 (at) hotmail (dot) (com)
I would like to try a book in this series. I love the Dead-End Job mysteries with Helen. They make me laugh a lot because I have had some of those dead-end jobs Helen has had in the books.
karen(underscore)locke(at)hotmail(dot)com
sounds fun!
idlivru1(at)gmail(dot)com
Karen and Terry, I hope you’ll try the books and enjoy them. Thanks for reading about Josie’s day.
This is a new author for me. I would like to read this and give her a try
jplungas at gmail dot com
What a REAL FUN story line in this. Can;t wait to read it!
nlb1050(at)yahoo(dot)com
Josephine, I think you’ll like Josie. The book has a touch of romance along with the mystery.
Nancy, let me know if you like this book.
would love to read josie’s latest adventure 🙂
Oh, good. It’s available as a paperback and an e-book, Karen.
I can’t wait to read Josie’s newest! (And I avoided – somehow – the gooey butter cake in STL so far, but I’m not at all sure I will ever be able to do it again if I ever go there again!
Contest is closed.
Congratulations to our winner: Bevarcher!