“Amelia, you are not wearing that skirt to school,” my mom said. “Your cheeks are hanging out.”
“Mom, that’s gross!” My new hot pink bubble skirt was cute.
“Not as gross as that skirt,” my mom said.
I sighed. Mothers just don’t get it.
My name is Amelia Marcus. I’m twelve and I go to the Barrington School for Boys and Girls in St. Louis. My mom’s a mystery shopper and knows where to find cute clothes.
But this morning she went all preachy about my skirt. “You know it doesn’t meet the dress code. Go change. Now. We have to leave for school.”
“Don’t have to change.” I tugged on the hem and suddenly the length was okay. That was the first time I saw Mom smile since everything turned weird.
Grandma told me Mom used to roll up her skirts at the waist like I do when she was young. Grandma Jane made her fix them before she left home.
But about our house: Dr. Ted, my mom’s new husband, is a veterinarian in Maplewood, Mo. 
They bought a house that’s like an antique and I have my own room. Purple, my fav. Our house used to be owned by Dr. Chris, Ted’s vet partner. When Ted tore down the rickety backyard gazebo, there was a dead woman under it. Mom kept me inside so I wouldn’t see her. But I did see poor Dr. Chris. The dead woman turned out to be Dr. Chris’ sister, who everyone thought went to California. Dr. Chris was arrested for murder.
Then Barrington School got weird, too. Zoe, she’s like the head mean girl, put up a Bitches of Barrington page on Facebook, four pictures of me and my friends in doghouse frames. When we left school, the other kids howled at us like dogs.
Mom figured out something was wrong. I didn’t want to talk about it, but she took me to a coffeehouse with Wi-Fi. I almost never get cappuccino. I showed her the Bitches of Barrington FB page on my laptop. It was dark in the coffeehouse and I cried, but nobody saw me except Mom. She was so mad, she drove us right back to school. The other three girls’ parents were there and they marched in to see Miss Apple, the head of school.
I sat in the waiting room with other BOBs. We call ourselves that because our parents don’t like us to say the B-word. On the BOB page, I was “Clumsy Bitch.” Zoe took my photo when I dropped spaghetti on my white blouse. My best friend Emma was “fugly,” a word Mom won’t let me use. Bailey was the “fat bitch.” That’s just mean. Her father is a big deal lawyer and he was mad, too. Palmer was the “rich bitch.”
We BOB girls didn’t expect Miss Apple to do anything. Zoe and her friends are her pets and their parents donate major money. We were right.
The ’rents told us what happened later. Miss Apple said there was no proof the BOB photos were taken at school by Barrington students. Even though everybody knew who did it. Well, she didn’t say that, but the whole school knows who did it.
Mrs. Apple said the lawyers made Facebook take down the page and if we could prove Barrington students did the BOB page, they’d be expelled.
Bailey’s father wanted to sue, but that’s how lawyers talk. Emma and I texted each other and decided we would prove who did it cause we’re good with computers.
Did we succeed? Did Mom figure out who killed the lady under the gazebo at our new house?
Read “Fixing to Die” to find out.
Synopsis:
Mystery shopper Josie Marcus has been happily married to veterinarian Ted Scottsmeyer for months. But her newly wedded bliss is about to be cut short.Josie and Ted have finally tied the knot, and they’re ready for the next step: buying a house. Ted’s business partner, Christine, has one she’s willing to sell, but it needs a lot of love. Luckily, the newlyweds are up for the challenge.
But when they tear down a rickety gazebo in the backyard, they find the body of Christine’s sister, a free spirit who supposedly took off six months before. The police arrest Christine for murder, leaving Ted to work overtime at the office to cover for his partner. With no time to work on the house or be with her husband, Josie will have to find the real killer quickly, before both her house and marriage are beyond repair.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7B8_GR0WIo&w=420&h=315]
Thanks to Penguin, I have one (1) copy of “Fixing to Die” to give away. Leave a comment to be included in the giveaway. Contest ends November 22; US entries only per publisher’s request.
Meet the author
Mizzou grad Elaine Viets (BJ ‘72) writes two bestselling mystery series for Obsidian, a division of Penguin USA. “Murder Is a Piece of Cake” is the eighth book in her Josie Marcus Mystery Shopper series. Set in Elaine’s hometown of St. Louis, the series features mystery shopper and single mom Josie Marcus. Fresh Fiction says, “Without a doubt, the combination of love, humor, and wedded bliss truly distinguish ‘Murder Is a Piece of Cake’ as one of Viets’ very best.”
The New York Times Review of Books praises her “quick-witted mysteries.” Elaine’s bestselling Dead-End Job series is a satiric look at a serious subject – the minimum-wage world. Her character, Helen Hawthorne, works a different low-paying job each book. Her current hardcover, “Final Sail,” looks at life aboard a 143-foot yacht. “Board Stiff,” Elaine Viets’ new hardcover mystery set in the cut-throat world of Florida tourism. will be published in May.
Elaine won the Agatha, Anthony and Lefty Awards. She just signed a contract for two more Dead-End Job mysteries and two Josie Marcus Mystery shopper novels.
Listen to her weekly Internet talk show, Dead-End Jobs Radio Show, at radioearnetwork.com. Follow her on Facebook and check out the first chapters of her mysteries at www.elaineviets.com.
This sounds like a great series! I would love to start reading it!
I’m a fan of both series and would love to win a copy of the newest novel!
Sounds wonderful, I love a new cozy 🙂
I love the Dead-End Job series, so I’m sure I’ll love this one…
I enjoy this fun series and reading your blog. Thank you for the chance to win.
This book is on my wish list, so I would love to win!
Amelia is really growing up. Enjoy this series, thanks for the chance to win!
I’d love this one!
Elaine is such a talented author. I would love the newest book. Thanks for the chance, Dru.
I love this series.
I love the series and would love the newest book.
Sounds really good.
Very much looking forward to this installment. Love this series.
Hi, All, thanks for stopping by today. As some of you noticed, Amelia is really growing up. She’s becoming quite a techie and will use her skills to track down the mean girls who embarrassed her.
Loved the book and techie Amelia. And yes, private school girls roll up their skirts from “flirt in class” above the knee to “hottie from boys school” undies showing, all the time.
As a St. Louisan myself, I’m very familiar with Elaine Viets and love her writing style. It’s always fun to read a story that’s set in your home town.
This sounds wonderful. Oh how I want to read about the nasty girls getting what they deserve!
Teenage girls–who understands them? Not me. But I think I’ll like this book because it will be fun reading about them.
suefarrell.farrell@gmail.com
Thank you, Alan. Folks, Alan is my IT person and he took hours to explain Amelia’s computer investigation and break it down so even I understood it.
Not only do the girls get what they deserve, Suekey, so do their parents. Even notice how many parents defend bullies?
Great to have another in this fun series. Look forward to reading it.
I met my share of mean girls, too, Nora. One used to beat me up on the way home from school. Back then mean girls didn’t have their own movie!
This sounds like a fun series. Thanks for the chance to win.
There are mean girls at every school I ever went to. Thankfully none of them were musicians or I would have spent 4 periods a day in hell. I managed to spend my day filled with music, Senior Band, Dance Band and Orchestra. The rest of the time I tried to keep my head down and turn invisible.
Elaine, I do love your books and they always put a smile on my face. Thanks for offering a copy of your book to whoever is the lucky winner.
What a tangled web! I would love to read this!
I know all of you can win a copy — but if you don’t win, ask your library to get FIXING TO DIE for you.
Oooooooooo sounds sooooo good! Fingers crossed to win!
Teen bullying is a fascinating issue. It’s much worse than when I was in school. Then, once I got home , the bullies couldn’t follow me. Now that bullying is online, it’s there 24/7. Even if the page is taken down, screen shots keep it alive.
I am sold, this one is going to the top of my wishlist. Loved the promo. Thank you for the chance.
Parents can enjoy the problems of someone else’s kid, Carol.
I’m a big fan of Elaine’s books!
Thanks, Jane. Hope you’ll enjoy Josie’s ninth adventure.
Thanks Elaine and Amelia for letting us know what’s going on in your world.
And thank you, Dru, for the chance to meet your many readers.
I feel so badly that I have not kept up with the last few of the Josie books as Elaine is so good with this series. But this notice of her latest book will spur me on to get the last couple and this one too and get up to date on Ms. Marcus adventures. Keep up the great work Elaine, and thank you Dru for this lovely blog posting. I truly enjoyed it.
Cynthia
Josie wouldn’t want you to feel bad, Cynthia. Just catch up iwth her adventures when you have time. They’re waiting for you.
Love the cover, sounds like a good book.
wfnren(at)aol(dot)com
Series sounds like lots of fun. Would love to start reading it.
kaye.killgore@comcast.net
Would like to start reading the series.
kaye.killgore@comcast.net
OK I give up, I tried twice, won’t take my comment.
kaye.killgore@comcast.net
Sounds wonderful!
I love this series [but as a former Missourian living in FL, it makes me homesick sometimes…unless there is snow…then I am delighted that Ms. Viet’s Dead End Job series is set in FL and I can *warm up*]
I’m a Viets fan and have had plenty of dead end jobs. This series is wonderful. Thanks for the chance to win. judydee22002@yahoo dot com
This is my second chance to post. Will use my alternate email.
I’m a Viets fan and have had plenty of dead end jobs. Love this series and hope to win. Thanks. judydee22002@yahoo dot com
I love this series. I did mystery shopping for 8 years.
Oh my! I just HAVE to find out if Amelia and Emma found out and proved who took the pictures and put up the fb page! And, oh yes, if Amelia’s mother solved who killed the Dr’s sister.
contest is closed.