I get paid to listen to lies. It’s the downfall of my profession. Therapists can only help clients who reveal their deep, dirty secrets. Their failures. Their insecurities. Their misdeeds. But the desire to project one’s best self supersedes any aspiration to become one’s best self. Ay there’s the rub, as Hamlet said, unburdening his suicidal thoughts to an empty room. No one really wants to be deemed crazy.
My job, of course, is to see through the artifice. Spot the pain behind smiles. The ticks of discomfort. I’m good at it. Or, at least, I think I’m good at it.
Maybe I’m lying to myself.
As I lay atop the bed, gone cold from my husband’s typical absence, I must accept the possibility that I didn’t truly know my best friend. Despite all the wine luncheons turned tipsy confessionals, the years of raising our kids in tandem, Melissa Walker might not have been the woman I’d believed her to be: loving mother and wife, capable of biting wit and a flirty wink, for sure. But no adulteress. Certainly not a violent one. And absolutely not a woman who’d murder her husband and flee the country, leaving behind an orphaned teenage daughter. No.
Could she have changed during quarantine? I ponder this as I peel off the covers and move to the curtains. The hazy gray light of the city’s sunrise sneaks through the space where the two panels meet.
I pull them back, revealing the prior night’s snowfall. White powder’s been sprinkled on the balcony railing and backyard pavers, forming a film on building roofs. I can’t help but think of dust, collecting outside while we rot indoors. Waiting. Watching.
Such isolation strains mental health. Though I encourage people to examine their lives, the truth is too much time focusing inward is a recipe for depression. Self-reflection should be done sparingly. Give yourself a once over so you don’t go outside looking disheveled. But don’t stare long enough to start obsessing over every blemish. Every wrinkle. That’ll drive you nuts.
Did it drive Melissa insane? Could all that time with only her husband and child for company have made her pick apart her painstakingly planned life? Could it have filled her with regret? Or transformed her into a caged animal, willing to tear through everything for a taste of freedom?
I grab the robe draped over my bedroom chair and pull it over what passes as pajamas lately: oversized tee, striped, flannel pants. The kitchen calls. There are mouths to feed while my husband caters to his customers and employees. Three mouths, specifically. My son’s. My daughter’s. And Ava’s.
I think of Melissa’s girl, the oval face destined to pinch into her mother’s heart shape, and my doubts seem ridiculous. The pandemic might have stressed Melissa’s marriage. But it couldn’t have made her crazy enough to leave her child. I know that much.
She must be somewhere. Trapped. Alone. Dead.
Please, not dead.
Hiding?
And if hiding, why? And from who?
I pull back the door and start down the hallway, pausing at each child’s shut bedroom, listening for breathing or sobs. It’s silent. Good. I’ll make breakfast. I can’t eat, but the kids need food. After, I’ll go to their house, ostensibly to retrieve some clothing for Ava. How can the police say no? And while I’m there, I’ll look. I’ll listen. Because no matter what they say, I can’t have been this wrong. Melissa didn’t leave her kid behind. And that means she’s in danger. Maybe we all are.
The Darkness of Others
Genre: Domestic Suspense Thriller
Release: August 2022
Purchase Link
USA Today bestselling author Cate Holahan delivers her latest nail-biting thriller, perfect for fans of Ruth Ware and Lisa Jewell.
Imani Banks lives in a posh Brooklyn Heights neighborhood that has just been rocked to its core. An acclaimed movie director has been murdered, and his blond trophy wife—Imani’s closest friend—is missing. Their neighbors, along with the media, jump to the conclusion that Melissa Walker has killed her husband in a fit of rage and is on the run.
Fortunately for the missing actress, Imani is a psychiatrist as well as a steadfast friend. She will never give up her search and is determined to prove Melissa’s innocence. It shouldn’t take a degree in human behavior to know that Melissa would never leave her daughter behind.
Recently, Imani and her chef husband rented some extra rooms in their house to a struggling waitress from his restaurant. Tonya Sayre has moved in with her teen daughter and the convenient timing and her suspicious behavior soon lead Imani to suspect that the true killer is living right under her own roof. Now all she has to do is prove it.
Meet the author
Cate Holahan is a screenwriter and USA Today bestselling suspense author. The Darkness of Others is her seventh standalone novel. Her last work, Young Rich Widows, an Audible original written with Vanessa Lillie, Kimberly Belle, and Layne Fargo was a #1 Audio Original and top five audio fiction book in the US. Her work has been optioned for film and television, and she has a streaming movie in production. She is a member of The Author’s Guild, Sisters-in-Crime, and Crime Writers of Color. She graduated from Princeton University and is pursuing an MFA in screenwriting from NYU’s Tisch.
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