I’m Roy. No last name. It works better if you don’t know. I’m running a business that operates in the shadows, so the less you know, the better for everyone. I have to protect myself and by doing so, I protect you. The police can’t put the squeeze on someone they can’t find and neither can you. That way we have mutually assured protection.

So I guess you want to know a little bit about Infidelity Limited. It’s a family run business. I know it sounds like a line, but it really is. It was started by my lady and me, born out of frustration and happenstance. She was in a bad relationship and needed help getting out. I had the skills to help her. After it was over, we realized we could help others and Infidelity Limited was born.

How does our service work? I’m sure you’ve heard our pitch: Do you have a cheating spouse, a wayward wife, a hubby with a gambling habit? Has counseling failed? Want to get even with them? Then hire Infidelity Limited to knock some sense into them. For a fee, we’ll round up your spouse, take them to a quiet place and scare them straight. We use force to make the point felt. I know it sounds like we’re going a little overboard and isn’t particularly Christian behavior, but there comes a point where talk and threats don’t work anymore and that’s where we come in. Does our service work? It really depends on the person. For some people it’s a real come to Jesus moment. After a session with us, they wake up to the pain and suffering they’ve been inflicting on their families. But others are on their own destructive course and there’s no turning them around. The only comfort to you is that without your intervention, they’d likely take you down with them.

Don’t go thinking we’re in the revenge business. Yes, we do have some clients who’ve suffered a lot of pain at the hands of their partner’s mistakes and just want their pound of flesh in recompense. But the majority of our clients are genuinely at the end of their rope and are looking for a solution, any solution, to save their marriage or family. Don’t be embarrassed, I won’t judge you in either case.

Do you have any questions for me?

That’s a good question—and its answer may be a tough one to accept. No, most spouses don’t repent. Don’t ask me to give you the psychology behind this because it isn’t my forte but what I can tell you is more often than not when you hire us, the marriage is dead and you’re not going reconcile with your spouse. Let’s face it, if you’re coming to us, it’s probably as the last resort. And considering what we do to spouses like yours, very few appreciate our involvement. What I can say is the ones that do straighten up and fly right after a session with us tend to remain reformed.

Do I have references? I wish I could share the names of former clients, but I’m sure you understand that’s what we do isn’t strictly legal and for the protection of all involved, everything is kept confidential.

While nothing in life is foolproof, we do our very best to make sure everything goes to plan. We ensure that there is no retaliation, and no police involvement. To do that effectively, we rely on detailed information from you about your spouse, their movements, and their character, as well as carrying out our own surveillance to ensure we know who we’re dealing with and how far we can go. Once Infidelity Limited is involved, we control the situation.

Sound good?

Great! Let’s get started. Why don’t you tell me about your situation and I’ll tell you what we can do for you. I promise nothing will go wrong. . .

Deceptive Practices is mystery novel published by Thomas & Mercer, November 2016.

Do you have a cheating spouse? Has counseling failed? Want to get even? Then hire Infidelity Limited. . .

Olivia Shaw grew up poor on the wrong side of the tracks, but with her thriving real estate business and a solid marriage, her life finally feels stable. . .until she discovers her husband is cheating. Enraged, her sister offers a solution: Infidelity Limited, a firm that promises to rough up her husband and scare him straight.

Overnight, Olivia’s life is upended as she, like all of Infidelity Limited’s clients, is drawn into a dark web of blackmail and murder. Now, Olivia is emerging as a prime suspect in her husband’s death. As a dogged detective closes in, Olivia has only one option: take down Infidelity Limited before it’s too late.

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About the author
Simon Wood is a California transplant from England. He’s a former competitive racecar driver, a licensed pilot, an endurance cyclist, an animal rescuer and an occasional PI. He shares his world with his American wife, Julie. Their lives are dominated by a longhaired dachshund and six cats. He’s the Anthony Award winning author of Working Stiffs, Accidents Waiting to Happen, Paying the Piper, Terminated, Asking For Trouble, We All Fall Down and the Aidy Westlake series. His last thriller The One That Got Away has been optioned for a movie adaptation. He also writes horror under the pen name of Simon Janus. Curious people can learn more at simonwood.net.